Well at this moment I already at fifth semester in my college. In this semester I feel very tired and tired. Almost all subject needs assignment to make video. And as you know, I can’t make video! Yes, I know all concepts to create video but when I has asked about editing, shooting, and take scenes I will confuse. don’t interested about that but I’m Mass Communication student. How come? Actually, I just interested to become presenter so I choose Mass Communication studies. But now I can blame anyone, it’s my decision. Actually, I enjoy in my class now so I will enjoy their studies too. Huff
Still count and think the possibility to back to Australia. Maybe at there I can live alone and free from all things which disturb me. Their offered good job and facilities to make me still confuse to take decision. Okay, at first time I rejected the offer because I can’t get break from my college and also these are suddenly. Ya, I admit that there are many people who can’t I leave there. I love them, and very love some of them even from my self. Special person who had betrayed, and other people who still confuse to take her way, and other people always act strong but inside just a mess. And also many more again. I hate to say goodbye! But with second chance I get, I don’t sure about my answer.
Someone said that I’m have changed. Hmm, I think everybody has changed and must changed to survive from this world. Maybe for some people I changed become worse. Can’t be understand by others. But can you think that I also hard to understand others? Even I must do extra exercise to do that. People can judge other from what they’ve seen and listen. But for me, it isn’t enough. I will search and find what are the reasons that people changed. But once again, many people can’t see what the different side of situation. I don’t blame them but I only smile for them. Because they don’t know that world is rough. First, they have LEARNED a lot. Second, they’ve been HURT too much.
For many years maybe just one woman in my heart but now I can be get over about her. Well, our world are different and we have different goals in future. Maybe it can’t be 100% out from my heart but now I know the answer. Don’t force the situation if there isn’t match. Yes, in the ratio imagination she really doesn’t turned head. Broken heart has already the desert, quickly opens cutting the oasis.But when I’m thinking of you, I’m not base and low. Instead I had not regretted, because I have loved you deeply.
I don’t know when I will stay in one girl. I don’t want to say, “I don’t need girlfriend now, I don’t want in a relationship now, I’m happy become single. I want to enjoy it and so on”. But it’s better for me to say, “Yes, I’m very happy with my life now and with my single status. But when love has already to find me I won’t say ‘No!’ to it”. So when love will find me? I don’t know the answer. Maybe the answer already around me but I don’t realize it. Or maybe the answer is in the girl I met in the party who I don;t know her name and her telephone number. Ah, maybe I should asked but it’s ok. Life goes on! Hahahaha
Actually and finally my power to give consultation was back. I don't now why, but it was happen since 2 weeks ago. My heart can sees what is invisible to the eye again. Yes, this is my path life and I can't rejected. It's not easy to repositioning my images and yeah as you know my character to care and pay attention can't disappear. Don't ever lie to me to hide the truth because I know it. 5 people try to trick me and they failed. because I not only have experience but I pay attention what are they do, what are they say, and what are they interact with others.
One big mission finally almost finish. She has already grow up and mature. Now, I can relieved if someday must leave her. Never regret with all what I did. Just one thing which can make me regret. The ending is little different that I expected. But it's okay.There must be a person who succumb to it can still work well. And that was me. Yes, sometimes we force people who we love to go away from us just to protect them for their sake but I don't wanna be like a fool who force someone to always with me. If you want me let me know, just tell me. If you don't want, it's okay. I will leave and say goodbye...
Still confused that V was back to my life again with others question and story. She haunt me maybe for all my life. Just remember about my last conversation with her.
V: "Now, you must choose between I and her"
M: "Of course I choose her. Not only her, I will choose all of my best friends if compare with u"
V: "WHAT!! I think you are crazy because u not choose me"
M: "Yes,they are better than you, so I never regret to choose them"
V: "Okay, now it's up to you. You will regret to lose me!"
M: "I guarantee that I never regret with my decision!"
V: "Are you sure? Okay I will cuss you to never happy with her. And for your lovely friends, someday they will make you disappointed. I swear!"
But I think all curse from her has became come true...
